Please stand by for an important announcement.“Hello, I’m Bill Kling. Here at Minnesota Public Radio, we’ve been setting a tone of excellence in broadcasting and, um, well, trying really hard in amateur softball for the past several decades. Now it’s time to take things to an even higher level. As our Next Standard capital campaign winds down in the coming months, we’ll be launching an even more exciting fundraising effort: The Next Sandlot. And you can help.
“When you make a tax-deductible contribution to the Next Sandlot campaign, you’ll be ensuring that future generations of Minnesotans will not have to witness some of the things that went on during the 2005 season: a Randy Greenly popping out twice in the same game, for instance; a Bill Wareham getting burned for a home run by his very own son; a Jeff Johnson being bumped into by a baserunner and shrieking like a ninny because he’s got a ribcage made of celery stalks. What you will see is more, much more, of what you saw during the 2005 league tournament: a team that, despite an early setback, pulls together and sweeps through its next six games, outscoring its opponents by 105–18 in the process; a team with a hurler like Laurie Johnson, who can toss eight straight games, face 204 batters, and walk just one of them; a team that subtly encourages its opponents’ beer consumption and delays its own until after the tournament; and a team that spanks the Patriot, and spanks him hard.
“But we can’t do it alone. The Next Sandlot campaign is your chance to make a lasting difference in the quality of public-radio softball for future generations of Minnesotans. Thank you—and don’t forget: if you become a charter member of the Next Sandlot, you’ll receive a lifetime pass to something called a ‘Chalk Talk.’ E-mail gary@mpr.org for more information.”

The Wick:
First basewoman from Cherry Pit