Hallelujah! After a 9 - 18 season in ‘97, the combined MPR teams storm back with a solid .500 year. Why? In the absence of other evidence, the credit must go to J.R. Mac’s. A softball team without a “home bar” is like a president without an intern, quoth the historian. And Mac’s provides not only mustard, but FREE BEER! ¶ Of course, the men’s team must be credited, too; relentlessly spurred on by their 1997 Season of Shame, they fought off younger, more athletic opponents and one very testy umpire to post a 5 - 5 record. The co-rec team (6 - 6; 4 - 4) actually won money with a second-place finish in the midseason tournament - a feat that makes the Mark McGwire/Sammy Sosa “Quest for 62 Taters” seem about as exciting as a guy trying to find a lost sock. µ Unfortunately, immediately following the tournament, State Rep. Matt Entenza launched an investigation into MPR’s nonprofit status. “All Minnesotans should be deeply concerned when a charitable organization tries to launder large sums of cash by subverting an innocent, all-American activity such as softball,” Entenza, his nostrils flaring with righteous indignation, said on KTCA’s Newsnight program. Speaking from his villa somewhere in the south of France, MPR president Bill Kling said, “We have a softball team?” ¶ Meanwhile, back on the field, the team soldiered on, helped by another good crop of rookies, another year’s worth of cunning and treachery from the veterans, and the comforting knowledge that at the end of it all, after the windsprints and the pushups and the bad hops and the endless consumption of Advil, they would all get one more glimpse of a rancid butterhead. ¶ The Wick? Purple Guy (a.k.a. Elmo II, a.k.a. The Smoking Eggplant). Worrisome fact: Not a single cry of “No wheels!” Hopeful sign: Fans who journey from afar and actually buy us dinner. Team scandal: child abandonment.